Guru Rabbit

Turn a new leaf (and EAT it)

This is an issue… September 3, 2011

Filed under: Random — rabbit @ 12:25 pm

I just emptied out my WordPress spam and one of them said, “Do you actually assume this to be true?”, to which I thought, “Yes, my vegan chocolate freakout cake is true, damnit”.  Silly spam.  Nobody likes you.

Let’s talk about another truth: the awesome factor of this stuff:

I know you’re probably confused.  Unless you are already familiar with the Belgian treasure known as Biscoff.  Okay, background story.  A few years ago on a road trip, I was introduced to Biscoff, a wonderful, crispy, cinnamon flavored cookie.  Like a cinnamon graham cracker, but BETTER.  We dipped the cookies in Nutella and peanut butter.  Oh.  Em.  Gee.  I don’t think I’ve had those cookies since the road trip, because possession of them is rather dangerous.  I can see myself dumping them in a bowl and pouring soy milk over.  That’s just how my brain works.

Then, the other night, while wandering the internets, I found out the same good people who make Biscoff make a freakin’ spread with the cookies.  They make.  A spread.  With Biscoff cookies.  In it.

And then I had a seizure.

Two days later I was driving around and had to go to the bathroom, as I have the world’s tiniest, most active bladder.  It’s kinda like a chihuahua…  And I saw a Fresh Market nearby so I decided to first, take care of business, and second, see if they had Biscoff Spread.  Interestingly, you would think that a place called Fresh Market would have more emphasis on health food, but if you’ve ever seen their candy and chocolate selection… soooo colorful…  Point is, they had Biscoff Spread!  I bought a jar and as soon as I got outside I opened it up and dipped my finger in.

And then I had a seizure.

It’s soooooo gooooooooooood.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.

This is gonna sound weird, but Biscoff Spread tastes like someone with magic saliva chewed up a Biscoff cookie, gave it the texture of really smooth peanut butter and then put it in a jar.  It tastes like that point when you’re eating the cookie and you’ve broken it down enough that it’s all nice and mushy and the carbohydrates are giving you that sugar high.  Except it’s way smooth.  Yeah.

The jar implies that you actually spread the stuff on things like bread and apples.  Like Nutella, I think you’re really supposed to just eat it with a spoon.

Mmmmm, processed carbs and fat…

I’m gonna have to give the rest of the jar to Henry.  It’s going to pollute my nice, clean diet.  Yeah, that’s right, I dump the dangerous stuff on my boyfriend.  That sounds weird.


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