Guru Rabbit

Turn a new leaf (and EAT it)

The Geese Are Smarter Than Us May 27, 2012

Filed under: Random,Recipes — rabbit @ 2:15 pm
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My week:

– Cracked an egg with twin yolks at work.  What if that egg had been allowed to fully develop??

– Simultaneously shredded and burned the roof of my mouth via a tempura mushroom.  Eating and drinking anything hurt for a few days.

– For the first time in my life, heard a South African speak in person.  I love that accent.

– Saw a kitty that looked just like mine, with two exceptions: this one had gray spotting instead of orange (although same pattern), and the tip of its ear was chipped.  Sooo cute.

– Finally started watching Mad Men.  (I don’t have a TV in my room, so my viewing habits are generally limited to Netflix and Hulu.)  It makes me want whiskey and cigarettes.

– Witnessed my dad run a red light.  Senior moment.  It’s okay, he’s allowed because he’s killed a bunch of people.

– Watched a family of four geese use a crosswalk.  If only my camera phone weren’t so slow…

Taking crappy pictures of food is difficult enough.

Start with fresh mushrooms and chickpeas.

(I had no appropriate segue for this.  Screw that, it’s my blog.  Banana.)

Soy sauce, honey, caraway seeds, salt and pepper.  Toss to coat.  Simple, yes?

Put them in the oven.  Walk away.

Come back to stir.  Walk away.

Take them out of the oven.

If your brother comes to visit and you’re in the bathroom, he will eat a third of the dish while it’s cooling.

That’s just how things are.

Meaty Mushrooms and Chickpeas


a couple handfuls of fresh mushrooms (cremini, portobello, white button, shiitake, whatever you fancy)

2 cups drained chickpeas

3 Tbsp soy sauce

2 Tbsp honey, agave, or maple syrup

1/2 tsp caraway seeds

salt and pepper to taste (remember, even low sodium soy sauce is pretty salty, so go light on salt here)

Optional additions include: minced garlic, sliced onions, a drizzle of sesame or olive oil, and any other herbs or spices you’d like to try.

Preheat oven to 400 °F.  Toss everything together in a bowl, and transfer to an oiled baking dish.  Bake for half an hour, stirring once halfway through.  Alternatively, heat a bit of oil in a large saucepan and cook over medium-high heat until mushrooms are done.  Allow to cool slightly before serving, lest one of the juicy mushrooms scald your mouth and haunt you in your dreams.

This dish is hearty, loaded with umami flavor, and a great source of protein, so it makes a fantastical vegetarian substitute for meat dishes.  You can serve it with wild rice and sauteed greens, inside a pita with yogurt sauce, alongside mashed potatoes, or chilled on top of spring mix for an entree salad.

Not the most interesting tidbit of my week, but certainly one of the tastier ones.


This, however, is not “Meh”. May 22, 2012

Filed under: Recipes — rabbit @ 12:01 pm
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Summer is approaching.  The sun is getting stronger, the humidity is getting heavier, and my sense of “Meh” is reaching critical levels.  Turning on the oven or stove is not exactly on my list of Super-Fantastic Things To Do.  I’d rather eat spring mix from the container and call it a day.

Amiright, Kitty?



That doesn’t mean I won’t come up with something with a little more oomph for you.

Omg, wtf is that??

Get your blender, we’re making gazpacho.  Different color from last year though.  This one was the result of some extra bell peppers lying around.

I combined them with cashews, and a bit of exotic influence:

Paprika, turmeric, fenugreek, a bit of cayenne…

Sweet Pepper and Cashew Gazpacho


2 bell peppers (red, orange, or yellow)

1 large tomato

2-3 cloves of garlic

1 cup raw cashews, soaked in water and drained (anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours)

a bit of lemon zest (like half a teaspoon)

1 tsp smoked paprika

1/2 tsp turmeric

1/2 tsp fenugreek

1/8 tsp cayenne pepper

1-2 tsp dijon mustard

a few dashes of white wine vinegar

salt and pepper to taste

Roughly chop the bell peppers, tomato, and garlic.  Throw into the blender, along with everything else.  Start blending.  You’ll probably have to help it along and push the ingredients down at first, but hey, we can’t all own a Vita Mix blender.  Once it’s all pureed, taste and adjust if needed.  Done.

The cashews really help to make this dish awesome, but if you want to try almonds, hazelnuts, pecans, or walnuts, go for it.  Tahini would also be good in place of nuts.  You can also play with the spices– try cumin, coriander, basil, dehydrated onion, etc.  Serve chilled, or hot, with a drizzle of olive oil and crusty bread, or top with some goat cheese, croutons…  You get the idea.  Aaaand.  This gazpacho also serves as a good dip for bread, or a dressing for veggies.  How awesome.  If you want to get a little fancier, try roasting the bell peppers and tomato beforehand.

Hmm.  Note to self:  balsamic heart is ugly.


I Shouldn’t Have Made This May 14, 2012

Filed under: Recipes — rabbit @ 4:41 pm
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Because now I’m having a mini food coma.

Veg Cobbler, anyone?

I just wanted to use up some extra veggies and basil.

And I wanted to do something I’ve rarely done before (maybe even never?).

So I sauteed some garlic and onion.  Then added a bunch of other stuff– tomato, bell pepper, zucchini, peas.

Fennel seeds, some of the basil, dried hot pepper.

Biscuit dough.

Ugly, ugly biscuit dough.  But yummy.  It has the rest of the basil in there.

You could also call it dumpling dough.  The difference is debatable.

The end result here looks more like biscuits, so that’s what I’m calling them.  I think.

Plop that dough right on top.  Cover, and cook (at a simmer), for 10-15 minutes.


This was just the beginning of my stomach’s rampage.  I ate nearly half the damn thing.

You can do this dish with just about whatever you got.  Other types of summer squash, or winter squash, root vegetables, celery, leafy greens, asparagus, fresh or frozen corn, mushrooms, etc.  I wouldn’t do too many potatoes because that’s a whole lotta starch if you’re gonna have dumplings/biscuits on top.  You can throw in some protein like beans, tempeh or tofu, as well.

Use whatever herbs and spices you feel like.  After sauteing your veggies, add some liquid.  I used a bit of white wine vinegar and a rich vegetable broth.  You could also use sherry, Marsala or white wine, in combination with some broth.  Beer is another fancy-schmancy option.  Coconut milk would do as well, if appropriate with the other flavors (curry cobbler!).  Tomato juice, baby juice, etc.  Towards the end of cooking the veg, I also added a little extra olive oil, to enrich the texture and flavors.  Butter, cream or sour cream, plain yogurt, or grated cheese would be some more decadent additions.

I got the recipe for the biscuit dough from The Post Punk Kitchen (their stew recipe looks awesome, I’ll have to try it some day).  Obviously, I left out the rosemary and subbed my fresh basil.  I liked that this dough is easy, cheap, and versatile (like a good hooker).  But if you have a favorite biscuit or dumpling recipe, go for it.

Just remember: in the end, the cobbler is more powerful than you.


Cinco Recap May 7, 2012

Filed under: Random — rabbit @ 9:08 pm
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I will tell you this: I behaved.

I even helped!

I made guacamole at Jabel’s party.  Jabel is a fellow Mexican.  Well, I can’t quite say “fellow” Mexican because I’m only half by blood, and American by birth.  But sometimes my beaner spirit comes out.  Apparently, it shows in my guacamole.  Everyone ate that shit up.  And here’s a secret (which is no longer a secret…): that was the first time I ever made guacamole!  I know!  I’ve used avocado in soup, hummus, stuffed it, and probably done some other crazy stuff you shouldn’t even know about…. that’s not true, I’ve been pretty sane with avocados up to this point.  But I’ve never made guacamole until May 5, 2012.  Where’s my diploma?  Oh, right, sitting idly on the dining room wall.  Sorry, English degree.  At least I can spell.

Then there were my spinach and mushroom tamales.  Or, if you wanna be Mexican about it, “tamales de espinaca y hongos.  Con salsa chipotle”.  With chipotle sauce.  There.  That freakin’ sauce, meng.  So yum.  The tamales dried out since I had to make them the day before, but hey, that’s what the sauce was for.  I saw that coming…

Sombrero stacking…  I’ve got a chola/chonga expression on my face.

Now I’m on crack.


If I get/steal more pictures, I’ll post them.  But I would like to note that the highlight of my weekend was a six year old girl calling me and my friend Shawn “sexy”.  Very awkward, and very cute.  Maybe it’s because we randomly sang a Lion King song in front of her.  I vote Little Mermaid next time.

Update:  Yup, stole more pics…

Dude with the ‘stache, Juan, did an awesome Cheech impression.

I have no explanation…

And my favorite:

I feel like Tata and Drew are always trolling us…


It Calls from Within… May 4, 2012

Filed under: Random — rabbit @ 9:00 pm
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Hey, guys.

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo.

First of all, you need tortilla chips.  Buckets of them.  Because you’ll need something dry and bland to soak up the tequila.

You will also need them to accompany the salsa and guacamole.  This ain’t just common sense.  It’s just sense.

Then, you need to get this stuff:

It’s a blend of dehydrated chili, lime, and salt.

Wait, what…?  Right.

Where do you get it?  The Mexican/Latin grocery store.

What do you put it on?


roasted corn





grilled zucchini



mac and cheese





beans and bean dips

guacamole (for something extra)

banana and peanut butter (couldn’t help it)

your grumpy cat

your food-hopeful dog

your creepy boyfriend/girlfriend

your creepy best friend

and babies, of course.

Then, you could make a nice, earthy, spicy vegetarian chili.  Maybe some mango bars for dessert.  Y’know, my dad (who is Mexican) might’ve become a priest, except he got kicked out of seminary school for stealing mangoes from the yard next door.  True story.

Good thing he didn’t become a priest.  Because then I wouldn’t be here.  And you like me, right?  Eerrr…

You could also learn how to make tamales.  It’s not that hard, really.  This guy pretty much knows what it’s all about.

Then you could stew some coarsely chopped tomatoes…  (not hard: just chop up several big, fat tomatoes, and put them over medium-high heat)

Along with some spices like cumin, coriander, cloves, allspice, maybe same cocoa… worcteshestire sauce (vegan or not),  sugar, salt, and pepper to taste.  *Edit: And a couple chipotle chiles in adobo sauce.  I can’t believe I forgot that part… Duh.

Puree, and you have a bold and spicy sauce for tamales.  Or whatever.  Kittens and such.

I’ll let you know what happens for my Cinco de Mayo.  In the meantime, don’t drink Corona.  I mean… c’mon.  Negra Modelo’s nice…  And I’ll only give you Dos Equis because of the commercials…

P.S. I bought a sombrero!